Wedding Cast & Responsibilities (Part III)

YOUR ATTENDANTS

The people you select to be in your Bridal Party receive a very special honor, indeed. They have been chosen because of their friendship to you, the Bride and Groom. They have also been selected because they will be able perform the various tasks expected of them both during the engagement period and on the wedding day itself. They will be asked to lend support, a shoulder to cry on and a sense of humor to keep everything in perspective during the hectic betrothal period.

On the wedding day, you will want them to be calm and organized. They will be dressed in clothing to suit that worn by the Bride and Groom. Consequently they will add color and elegance to the wedding party. It is not true that the number of maids and groomsmen must be equal. The number of ushers is partly dependent on the size of your guest list. Even with a large guest list, you may wish to have a smaller number of maids. On the other hand, only under very unusual circumstances would a Bride have more than twelve bridesmaids. Is it possible to have brides men?? Well, sure. It is not common, but if you, the Bride, wish to have one or more men in the bridal party, it is not unheard of. His attire would correspond to that worn by the groomsmen or ushers. And while we're re at it, some Grooms have grooms women as well as groomsmen. Mind you, again, it is not common and it will certainly spark some interesting comments at your wedding. But it is, after all, your wedding. You can do as you wish. For our guide, we will assume that all the Bride's attendants are female and all of the Groom's are male, as that is the most common. If you have selected some of your attendants otherwise, adjust our comments to fit your situation.

THE BRIDESMAIDS

The attendants you select for your Bridal party serve a largely honorary role. It is customary to select sisters of the Bride or Groom, other relatives such as cousins or close friends. The number of bridesmaids is up to you. but, in general, smaller weddings have a smaller number of maids.

The maids attend the majority of social functions, such as showers, bridesmaids luncheon, trousseau tea, champagne tasting, rehearsal and rehearsal party. etc. They are not normally expected to purchase a gift for each shower attended. Sometimes the maids will pool their gift money and select a large item as a shower gift. In addition to other duties, they may be asked to stand in the receiving line following the wedding.

In Canadian society, it is traditional for the bridesmaids to pay for the purchase or rental of their own wedding day attire. In some other cultures, however, this is normally the responsibility of the Bride's family. Be clear regarding expectations from the beginning to avoid awkwardness.

As the Bride, it is important to be aware of possible financial limitations in your bridal party members and so do not expect them to pay more than they can reasonably afford. You are selecting them to join your wedding party in order to have their advice and help during your engagement period and to have them at your side during your wedding day. Selecting someone for this role should not result in hardship.

It is ultimately your decision regarding bridesmaids gowns. shoes, etc. but it is nice to have them involved in the process. Some colors and styles work better for some than others. The maids may have valuable opinions regarding fabric choice, styling details such as sleeve length or neckline, ready made or custom designed, and cost. Listen to their ideas. Remember, the final choice still does rest with you.

Commonly the bridesmaids run errands and help with chores such as addressing invitations, wrapping cake or decorating the hall. It is wise to delegate tasks equally and according to talent. Try not to overwhelm any one particular person because they're extremely capable. Of course, if one of the maids lives out of town or there are other special circumstances, you might decide to alter the balance of work.

THE MAID OF HONOR

The Bride's honor attendant is called the Maid of Honor if she is an unmarried woman, Matron of Honor if she is or has been a married woman, and if you happen to select a male you may refer to him as your Best Person or Man of Honor. It is important that you have someone of legal age to sign the wedding documents.

The role of the maid of honor before and during the wedding day is to help and support the Bride. It is important to select someone dependable. They may be a sister or a very close friend. They could of course be another relative such as a cousin. niece or even mother or daughter of the Bride. Your honor attendant may certainly be someone who lives out of town, but remember that they will not be able to help with as many pre-wedding details.

It is traditional for the person selected as the maid of honor to be indicated by a dress of a slightly different style or color, a somewhat different headpiece, or to carry a slightly different bouquet.

The traditional responsibilities and duties for the maid of honor:

BEFORE THE WEDDING DAY:

Helps Bride select her wedding day attire
Helps select the costumes for the Bridal Party
Assists in addressing invitations and announcements
Attends pre-wedding parties
Plans and hosts a shower or party for the Bride or couple
Attends rehearsal and rehearsal party
Assists Bride with going away clothing and luggage
Coordinates the bridesmaids and their tasks. Including fittings for dresses
Helps keep track of gifts received and thank you notes written
Normally pays for all wedding day attire with the exception of floral accessories
Helps with the decorations
Supplies "Something borrowed" and "Something blue" if requested

ON THE WEDDING DAY:

Coordinates with the best man regarding details
Helps Bride dress
Reminds Bride to transfer her engagement ring to right hand
Ensures that bridesmaids are carrying their bouquets properly
Arranges Bride's train before processional
Holds Groom's ring during the ceremony
Holds Bride's bouquet during the ceremony
Turns back bride's veil for the kiss
Acts as a legal witness to the ceremony and signs documents
Arranges Bride's train for recessional
Returns bridal bouquet before recessional
Participates in the receiving line
Assists the Bride's mother at the reception
Makes sure that best man has placed all Bride's luggage and other incidentals in the going away car
Socializes with guests at the reception and ensures that guest book has been signed
Makes a toast at the reception
Helps Bride change into going away outfit