Perfect Weddings

Wedding Cast & Responsibilities (Part II)

THE BRIDE'S PARENTS

As the parents of the Bride, you are probably faced with a multitude of emotions as your daughter shares her engagement status with you. Her engagement indicates she is about to undertake a rite of passage. You are thrilled to hear of her happy new status . You are a bit nostalgic to realize that your little girl has grown up. Being involved in the planning for a wedding, of any size, is a major undertaking. You are perhaps feeling a bit overwhelmed about the amount of work and ensuring the success of the party. It is important to begin discussions immediately with your daughter regarding the size of the wedding, who will pay for what, and other details. This will include discussions with your future son-in-law and his family as well. As parents, seeing your daughters wedding from a more mature perspective, you may be tempted to make lots of decisions about the wedding for her. It may be hard to allow her to do the planning. It is only natural that you will want to have input into the process, especially if you will be paying part or all of the expenses. Negotiation is critical. A willingness to trust her good judgment about what will be right for her and her new husband will strengthen the bonds between you.

Although traditionally the Brides parents have been responsible for organizing and financing the entire wedding, that situation is rarely true any longer. Today the Groom's parents normally participate in the planning and organizing and share part of the costs. The Bride and Groom contribute from their own money as well. It will be up to you and the other principals to decide how responsibilities and costs will be shared in your particular circumstances. In the event that you are separated or divorced, your daughter's wedding puts additional stress on you. Her upcoming marriage will perhaps remind you of your own marital difficulties. Your relationship with your former husband (or wife) may be strained an d the necessary prenuptial planning as well as the wedding day itself may be tense. During the difficult times, remember that you are both her PARENTS although you are no longer together. She cares for and needs both of you during this time of transition for her. As well, there may be new parents on the scene - a step-mother and/or step-father. The roles of these people at the wedding vary considerably, depending on the longevity of those relationships, who the Bride lived with during her growing up years, the level of comfort all the principals have with each other, etc.
Sensitivity regarding feelings on everyone's part and a willingness to facilitate the smooth flow of the wedding of the new couple will pay dividends long after the wedding day.

Communicating clearly and directly with all concerned is vital. That way, no one will be in for an unpleasant surprise on the wedding day itself. Also, if one of you or the step-parents is uncomfortable with some of the arrangements, there will be time to discuss it and compromise where possible.

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THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE

As the mother of the Bride, you normally select your outfit once the color scheme has been chosen and the Groom's mother selects her outfit to be a different but coordinating color. Traditionally, you are the last to be seated before the ceremony (in the front left pew) and the first to rise as your daughter and her husband start down the aisle. You are also the first to be ushered out after the ceremony. You are normally the first person in the receiving line. you may wish to arrange a few minutes alone with your daughter, perhaps near the end of the reception when she is changing into her going away outfit or near the time of the last dance. This will be an opportunity to share good wishes and special feelings before she and her husband head out into their new life together.

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THE FATHER OF THE BRIDE

You are normally expected to make a toast to the Bride or to the couple at the engagement and/or rehearsal parties. It is your role to escort your daughter to the church and to walk her down the aisle. After escorting your daughter down the aisle. you will sit next to your wife in the first pew. Should you be separated or divorced from the mother of the Bride. you would normally sit in the third pew. You are the official host at the reception and are expected to mingle with the guests. If the clergy member is not available to say grace for the reception meal, you may elect to do this. You may wish to make a speech or toast at the reception. Traditionally you are the last to leave the reception after bidding the other guests good bye.

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Cher!

PS Keep an Eye out For Next Week Part 3

Wedding Cast & Responsibilities (Part I)

  

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THE WEDDING

A wedding is all about people. We start with the Bride and Groom. Their union is the entire reason for all these festivities. They are two individuals who have grown to know, like, and love one another enough to choose to spend their lives together. A wedding is also about their parents. These four (and sometimes more) people are the ones who have borne and raised the young adults who stand before us now. They have invested far more than money in this process. They have invested of themselves. As they see their children about to wed, they are reminded of their own courtship's and weddings. The approaching rite of passage will also trigger many thoughts of the past, the growing up years. There will be lots of reminiscing during the betrothal period.

A wedding is also about all the other family members. It is about siblings and grandparents; about aunts. Uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins; about children, and Godparents. They too will be filled with memories and suffused with good wishes for the future of the couple.

A wedding is also about friends. It includes friends who are so close they are selected to be part of the wedding party. Of course some of the wedding party are relatives, but the very reason they are chosen to be included in the wedding party is because of the friendship they share with the Bride and the Groom. These friends share a very special place with the Bride and Groom on the festive day. They provide the official witnesses for the ceremony and also lend support and guidance throughout the betrothal period. There are, of course, other friends as well. These are all the guests who have been selected to witness the ceremony and join the merry making afterward. These people are friends of the family, the wedding party and most importantly, the Bride and Groom themselves.

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THE BRIDE

You're the star today and all eyes will be focused on you. No matter how modern or liberated, when the  average woman marries, there is a bit of "Cinderella" about her. you will probably be no exception. You will wear your fancy gown to go the magical ball. And there will be your Prince Charming! It happens just as in your dreams. A multitude of customs, traditions and superstitions attend all the fairy tale magic about getting married. You may not even know where some of these traditions originated even though it is likely that you will be reenacting them yourself. You will be reading about them in another later in this section. But a wedding is not all magic. There is a lot of behind the scenes work to ensure that the wedding day actually happens as planned. No matter how much wedding planning and preparation you are able to enlist others to do, the wedding remains a ceremony and party planned and coordinated primarily by the Bride. Allow yourself enough time.

Start out by being organized and stay that way. Call on reliable family and friends to help and delegate as much as you can. Hiring professionals whenever possible will help provide you with competent support people for your plans. It's easy for us to say and not so easy for you to do, but do all you can to avoid becoming "frazzled." If you remain happy, serene and confident that mood will transfer itself to the people you are dealing with who will then be pleasant and cooperative. This will ensure a smooth running and perfect wedding day.

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THE GROOM

How does the Groom fit into all this wedding business? In the past, the Groom had little to do with the planning and organizing of his wedding. Some Grooms later felt that they were little more than a "prop" in the affair. But things have changed. Most often, the Bride is working or in school - making her just as busy as the Groom. She needs his help to accomplish all the details. Many couples are already living together. It is not surprising, therefore, that they should wish to consult each other about the details and share the work for many of the tasks.

In addition, men today see their wedding as an important day for THEM. They want to ensure that the ceremony and reception satisfy their wishes as well as those of the Bride. They assertively participate in the process throughout. During the last few weeks of bachelorhood, you may secretly have "cold feet" about the commitment you will make during your wedding. Relax, every Groom (and Bride, too) has the same emotions - it shows you are taking this step seriously, in full recognition of the responsibilities it entails, but also eager to share a lifetime with your chosen love.

Once the wedding ceremony is complete, you will probably feel quite relieved and ready to enjoy the rest of the day. Late partying and the consumption of alcohol the night before your wedding are wisely avoided. You have a long busy day ahead of you on your wedding day you will not want to begin your day tired. Review your attendants duties with them, check documents, t he ring, the honeymoon plans, and then retire, satisfied that yours will be a wonderful wedding day. Eat properly during the day. Keep any appointments - shoe shine, manicure, etc. — exactly on time and then arrive at the church on schedule. You will always remember your wedding day as a unique, perfect occasion.

Cher!

PS Keep an Eye out For Next Week Part 2

Shocking Wedding Statistics!

These Wedding Statistics may shock you but they are true & from well known reliable sources!  Read them all here and learn from other Brides & Grooms mistakes!  It will make you rethink your Wedding Reception Priorities!

AFTER YOUR WEDDING RECEPTION...

72% of all brides say they would have spent more time choosing their reception entertainment.

Almost 100% say they would have spent more of their budget on the entertainment.

During wedding planning, Brides say their highest priority is their wedding dress, attire, followed by the reception site and caterer - reception entertainment is among the least of their priorities!

Within one week after their reception, 78% of Brides say they would have made the entertainment their highest priority!

When asked 81% of guests say the thing they remember most about a wedding is the entertainment (Band / DJ).

65% of all couples that chose a band to entertain at their wedding reception, said, if they had it to do over again, they would have chosen a disc jockey!

*These statistics were published in St. Louis Bride & Groom Magazine . Sources include: Simmons; USA Today, National Bridal Service, The Knot, Brides Magazine.

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Wedding Disc Jockey rates are vary based on talent, experience, emcee ability, service, coordination, equipment needed, music knowledge, mixing ability & personality. Not all Wedding DJ's are Created Equally, as many of you know - we have all seen the "Bad" Cheesy Wedding DJ!

Rates for the DJ industry vary greatly, ranging from $350.00 to $3,500.00 with an US average of $1,200.00 for a 4-5 hour reception.

The best price is not always the best deal, especially if you are planning a wedding. As the surveys above conclude that 100% of brides would have spent more money on their entertainment & made it their #1 priority in hindsight!

A Professional Wedding Entertainment company will normally invest 12 to 30 hours to your special event but it may appear that you are only paying for "4 hours".

Consultations, music purchasing & editing, preparation, set-up & tear-down, education, phone calls, travel & other business related endeavors add up to the overall success of your special once in a lifetime day.

Modern Bride Magazine: Entertainment is 5% of your Wedding Budget, but TWICE as many guests will remember your entertainment, more than anything else!

 

The numbers don't lie...

The cost of entertainment at your reception is only a small portion of your overall budget.  As Modern Bride Magazine states above, only 5% of your overall budget will be spent on entertainment.  However, over 50% of your guests will remember the performance of your disc jockey more than anything else at your reception.  Think back to the last affair you attended, what did you eat? What Color was the Napkin? What was the guest of honor wearing?  The Chart Below shows you what was spent compared to how well it will be remembered....

 

Percentage of Money Spent On A Wedding Reception	Percentage of What Guests Will Remember Most About Your Reception

 

When you're spending thousands of dollars on a once-in-a-lifetime event, doesn't it make sense to reserve the finest entertainment, especially since it is only 5% of your over all budget??

 

Yes, your Gown & your Food are very important.  Still, the selection of Music &  Entertainment can determine the success of your event!

A qualified Wedding MC can guarantee your guests will stay after dinner to party; the Photographer & Videographer will have something to shoot & your guests will stay long enough to really remember your gown!

Here is a Chart that shows you Popular Wedding Seasons, what does this  mean to you?  Either avoid booking those times to save money or make sure you book all your vendors early.  Because all the great vendors will be booked sometimes up to a year or more in advance!  You don't want to be "stuck" with who is left!  There is usually a good reason why a vendor is not booked 2 weeks before your wedding!

Good Luck with all your Planning but remember that sometimes the smallest overlooked detail may have the largest impact on the SUCCESS of your Wedding Reception!

Cher!

For Qualified Wedding MC's, Entertainers & DJ's Click this Link!